To my soulmate…

I hope I was as good to you as you’ve been to me. Ahh, who am I kidding? I’ll do better, I promise. Every moment that we have spent together is well cherished in my heart. I know I sometimes just zone out and go into my own world that I miss the little things happening around me.

I lack awareness at times. But hey, I am aware of it now and work on it every single day. I swear, this wasn’t even supposed to be about me and here I am ranting again!

You make it easy for me to rant… know that it’s a compliment because I don’t rant that easily to others without feeling burdened or judged by it. You’re quite amazing, you know? I am so grateful to you and appreciate that you can be supportive, kind, caring, gentle, loving, considerate, funny, generous xD, and straight up so playful. I love your energy and though I haven’t seen it all just yet, maybe you’ll trust me enough to show me what makes your heart ache, pain, your thoughts, dreams, desires and what makes you beam with happiness. I am down to having those conversations because they build up so much connection. I crave that kind of intimacy and depth in relationships.

Your questions are still burning at the back of my mind…they force me to go deeper into my very core/essence of being. And anytime, I do not know the answers, you give me direction along which I can think, do and become. I don’t want to let go of that, so are you willing to go on more adventures and staying by my side?

For some reason, call it “being conditioned by the society”, I am ashamed whenever I cry hard in front of others….hence, I couldn’t and most probably won’t be able to say half of what I’ve written to you in person. But be assured that, I write with clarity, pureness of emotion and it’s all true. Also, my newfound awareness…hehe, I know that we all feel that way. Afraid. Vulnerable. Lost. Shamed. Guilty, even. But why can’t we begin to own up to our own feelings? To say and admit to ourselves,

“Oh wow, I am doing that again. I feel sad. I feel numb. Or rather, dead inside. I feel alive, energized, overjoyed, excited, thrilled, emotional.” Or when everyone expects us to have everything planned and figured out for our own future selves…why can’t we say, “I really don’t know” without our hearts sinking knowing that we probably let a lot of people’s expectations down. Or even when they do find out whatever has intrigued us that we want to pursue it… they scoff, laugh, mock, belittle, plant doubt, fear, anxiety , uncertainty and leave us by saying, “You can be anything BUT that. Oh no, not that way.” “You sure? I haven’t seen anyone actually pull it off in my 30 years of experience blah blah blah”.

Oh and my personal favorite, ” Honey, what are you, 18? You are so young and have yet to see so much of the world…what are you gonna do with them dreams?” And, the final blow– “Aye, why not settle for what’s already in reach and be comfortable like everyone else?” Oh I am done. So so so done.

~Pallavi

Own Your Truth pt. 2

I know. Another part to this? Well, this post talks of the everyday split decisions and choices we follow through in our daily lives…which we regret or end up loving (eventually).

I thought to share some ways in which I’ve worked or dealt with my deepest desires, soul cravings and actualize it into my life.

~Being Honest with yourself

  • Asking the right questions
    1. “What truly matters to me?” is so important in the long run.
    2. Because in the end, we all have the same 24 hours, and it all comes down to prioritizing and creating a sense of balance.
  • Whenever faced with a difficult or challenging time, I just sit down to focus on the 1-3 things I want THE MOST right now.
    1. It can be literally anything from wanting to do well academically, or focusing on some hobby, building deep, meaningful relationships which will last.
    2. Just get intentional about it.
  • No matter how difficult or impossible the situation may be seeming right now, <trust me> The only thing to fear is fear itself.
    1. It is in that moment, in which you decide to face yourself in all its entirety–your strengths, weaknesses, fears, desires, passions despite the mind playing games with you and telling you it can’t be done or that it is impossible.
    2. When you have cut through all the bs, the lies you tell yourself, letting go of other people’s opinions of you becomes that much easier. Cuz I know just how traumatizing it can be to constantly care about what others think.
  • A golden rule for me here is “If it ain’t a hell yeah, it’s a no”

~Deciding to Act

  • Ahhh… I’ll repeat this over and over again. This is the hardest step yet.
    1. “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”
  • So, get yourself really excited/hyped up about your desires and goals.
    • Visualize yourself+ see how it makes you feel…the sparks it creates within.
    • Then, take massive, inspired action till you get it right//
  • Despite all this, I know people who find themselves in a dilemma and hold onto indecisive moments like juggling between “I want this but I also want that.”
    • Say for example, you want to get physically fit before the end of this year. Now obviously, you’ll have to weigh in your sacrifices and how much you need to change yourself before achieving that “hot body”.
    • But at the same time, you are just not ready to leave your junk food or your unhealthy habits and lifestyles behind… can you ever move forward then?
    • It’s really tough love that you show to yourself when you say no to all the things which aren’t serving your growth or progress. It has to come down to one or the other, initially. Later on, you can set boundaries and strike a balance. But never forget to act from your true core values. (In this case, health).

~Patience

  • Once you’ve decided, there’s really no going back. I MEAN IT. You better too. xD
    1. Anything worth having NEVER comes easy.
    2. It’s OKAY to go through the ups and downs…this feeling of uncertainty will be enough to keep you on your toes and instill hope within you every step of the way.
  • The journey is long, so hold on tight.
    1. Take it slow, if you must but do NOT give up. Go through all the trials…they’re meant to teach you to be stronger and be more patient with yourself.
    2. Never keep taking shots. Do, do, do and do, quite literally. Reflect on what worked and didn’t work and refine yourself.
    3. Adopt the enthusiastic, make it happen mindset. You’ll make it through 🙂

~Fearlessness Being Brave

  • Trust yourself. Be a badass when it comes to going after what you want.
    1. Have the courage to stand up for yourself and your standards.
    2. Don’t settle if you know you got the spark within (I’m hella sure you do) to do better.
  • Get creative and make sure to set your soul on fire. ^^
    • Cuz once you do, you’ll wanna keep coming back for me as it is just so rewarding.
    • Smile, celebrate your small wins, you’re getting one step closer to your goals and improving yourself.
    • Grow out of your negative beliefs and the toxic people who are killing your amazing vibes.
    • Push out of your comfort zones daily. You’ll soon realize your inherent power which was always there since day 1.

Lastly, stay strong, you never know who you’re inspiring.

~Cheers!