I hope I was as good to you as you’ve been to me. Ahh, who am I kidding? I’ll do better, I promise. Every moment that we have spent together is well cherished in my heart. I know I sometimes just zone out and go into my own world that I miss the little things happening around me.
I lack awareness at times. But hey, I am aware of it now and work on it every single day. I swear, this wasn’t even supposed to be about me and here I am ranting again!
You make it easy for me to rant… know that it’s a compliment because I don’t rant that easily to others without feeling burdened or judged by it. You’re quite amazing, you know? I am so grateful to you and appreciate that you can be supportive, kind, caring, gentle, loving, considerate, funny, generous xD, and straight up so playful. I love your energy and though I haven’t seen it all just yet, maybe you’ll trust me enough to show me what makes your heart ache, pain, your thoughts, dreams, desires and what makes you beam with happiness. I am down to having those conversations because they build up so much connection. I crave that kind of intimacy and depth in relationships.
Your questions are still burning at the back of my mind…they force me to go deeper into my very core/essence of being. And anytime, I do not know the answers, you give me direction along which I can think, do and become. I don’t want to let go of that, so are you willing to go on more adventures and staying by my side?
For some reason, call it “being conditioned by the society”, I am ashamed whenever I cry hard in front of others….hence, I couldn’t and most probably won’t be able to say half of what I’ve written to you in person. But be assured that, I write with clarity, pureness of emotion and it’s all true. Also, my newfound awareness…hehe, I know that we all feel that way. Afraid. Vulnerable. Lost. Shamed. Guilty, even. But why can’t we begin to own up to our own feelings? To say and admit to ourselves,
“Oh wow, I am doing that again. I feel sad. I feel numb. Or rather, dead inside. I feel alive, energized, overjoyed, excited, thrilled, emotional.” Or when everyone expects us to have everything planned and figured out for our own future selves…why can’t we say, “I really don’t know” without our hearts sinking knowing that we probably let a lot of people’s expectations down. Or even when they do find out whatever has intrigued us that we want to pursue it… they scoff, laugh, mock, belittle, plant doubt, fear, anxiety , uncertainty and leave us by saying, “You can be anything BUT that. Oh no, not that way.” “You sure? I haven’t seen anyone actually pull it off in my 30 years of experience blah blah blah”.
Oh and my personal favorite, ” Honey, what are you, 18? You are so young and have yet to see so much of the world…what are you gonna do with them dreams?” And, the final blow– “Aye, why not settle for what’s already in reach and be comfortable like everyone else?” Oh I am done. So so so done.
I know. Another part to this? Well, this post talks of the everyday split decisions and choices we follow through in our daily lives…which we regret or end up loving (eventually).
I thought to share some ways in which I’ve worked or dealt with my deepest desires, soul cravings and actualize it into my life.
~Being Honest with yourself
Asking the right questions
“What truly matters to me?” is so important in the long run.
Because in the end, we all have the same 24 hours, and it all comes down to prioritizing and creating a sense of balance.
Whenever faced with a difficult or challenging time, I just sit down to focus on the 1-3 things I want THE MOST right now.
It can be literally anything from wanting to do well academically, or focusing on some hobby, building deep, meaningful relationships which will last.
Just get intentional about it.
No matter how difficult or impossible the situation may be seeming right now, <trust me> The only thing to fear is fear itself.
It is in that moment, in which you decide to face yourself in all its entirety–your strengths, weaknesses, fears, desires, passions despite the mind playing games with you and telling you it can’t be done or that it is impossible.
When you have cut through all the bs, the lies you tell yourself, letting go of other people’s opinions of you becomes that much easier. Cuz I know just how traumatizing it can be to constantly care about what others think.
A golden rule for me here is “If it ain’t a hell yeah, it’s a no”
~Deciding to Act
Ahhh… I’ll repeat this over and over again. This is the hardest step yet.
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”
So, get yourself really excited/hyped up about your desires and goals.
Visualize yourself+ see how it makes you feel…the sparks it creates within.
Then, take massive, inspired action till you get it right//
Despite all this, I know people who find themselves in a dilemma and hold onto indecisive moments like juggling between “I want this but I also want that.”
Say for example, you want to get physically fit before the end of this year. Now obviously, you’ll have to weigh in your sacrifices and how much you need to change yourself before achieving that “hot body”.
But at the same time, you are just not ready to leave your junk food or your unhealthy habits and lifestyles behind… can you ever move forward then?
It’s really tough love that you show to yourself when you say no to all the things which aren’t serving your growth or progress. It has to come down to one or the other, initially. Later on, you can set boundaries and strike a balance. But never forget to act from your true core values. (In this case, health).
Once you’ve decided, there’s really no going back. I MEAN IT. You better too. xD
Anything worth having NEVER comes easy.
It’s OKAY to go through the ups and downs…this feeling of uncertainty will be enough to keep you on your toes and instill hope within you every step of the way.
The journey is long, so hold on tight.
Take it slow, if you must but do NOT give up. Go through all the trials…they’re meant to teach you to be stronger and be more patient with yourself.
Never keep taking shots. Do, do, do and do, quite literally. Reflect on what worked and didn’t work and refine yourself.
Adopt the enthusiastic, make it happen mindset. You’ll make it through 🙂
~Fearlessness Being Brave
Trust yourself. Be a badass when it comes to going after what you want.
Have the courage to stand up for yourself and your standards.
Don’t settle if you know you got the spark within (I’m hella sure you do) to do better.
Get creative and make sure to set your soul on fire. ^^
Cuz once you do, you’ll wanna keep coming back for me as it is just so rewarding.
Smile, celebrate your small wins, you’re getting one step closer to your goals and improving yourself.
Grow out of your negative beliefs and the toxic people who are killing your amazing vibes.
Push out of your comfort zones daily. You’ll soon realize your inherent power which was always there since day 1.
Lastly, stay strong, you never know who you’re inspiring.
How to overcome fearful beliefs and take on life and its adversities one step at a time…with faith.
“Every failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
Too often, we hold back or we delay and procrastinate something we were meant to do simply because it is uncomfortable and yes, because it scares us. TO DEATH. The weight of the expectations makes the task of doing it oh so overwhelming… that we would rather skip it. And of course, move on to watching random cat videos on YouTube or start browsing movies and shows in Netflix.
Yet, if only we would hold no expectations to be perfect, or to have our “shit together” and not worry endlessly and just begin. The progress is in itself a reward and we would be glad we started it earlier. It’s not so easy either to just have no expectations, I am aware.
We MUST stop resisting the change knocking us at our doors… and just open our hearts and be receptive and willing to all circumstances and scenarios life tries to provide us.It really is so magical to practice this state of gratitude and optimism which comes when you let it.
So let it come and let it flow through you. YES! Instead of being all guarded up, break those walls down and be trusting in the universe that you’re already where you’re supposed to be: In the right place, at the right time to be whatever you intended in being. It keeps you open to all experiences which will further your growth and keep you alive and present to your surroundings.
Take it as it comes and drop those bullsh*t expectations of yours. In order to enjoy life, we must keep moving forward and persist in our efforts. Just expect the unexpected to happen….all the magic is right in front of you if you know how to see it. Once you do this, I promise you’ll be swimming afloat all your problems and will glide through it all. You’ll get to see through all that chaos and you’ll find eternal peace within which comes in knowing that…”This too, shall pass.”
Falling in love, failing to fit in, failing elsewhere in life, comparing happiness and success, experiences, speaking up, writing from your heart, going out wearing your bold look, wearing your heart on the sleeves, trying new things, dancing to the beat of your own drum, challenging your beliefs, comfort zones and living a little more –BEING YOU may all seem daunting to the soul… but trust me it ain’t troubling the soul. It’s your comfort zones that are feeling threatened. The idea of perfection chains us down to the fear of what may go wrong but baby, we’ve got the whole damn galaxy within us.
~sincerely, your inner voice
What is this idea of perfection? Where does this come really from?
Perfection is an outlook, perspective or as I like to call it “seeing through tinted glasses” by which one views everything–life, struggles, daily experiences, self- worth and others around.
More often than not, they are disillusioned and far off from the “reality”. It seems as if it has already plagued the younger generation where they’re always so preoccupied and conscious about their “looks” when they haven’t even hit puberty yet or reached adolescence. Even as I write this small article… I’m filled with the voices or an idea of what is a “perfect blog post” in my head before even getting started!
DON’T GET ME WRONG…Perfection or at least striving towards a better result, goal/performance from oneself or others optimistically to reach closer to unlocking or discovering their truest level of potential is not wrong. Yes, we need to have a vision for ourselves to continuously remind and push ourselves towards our purpose so that we are aware of exactly what we need to do next to achieve our goals and desires. However, it is wrong when we let the fears override us and hinder us from taking actions fiercely. It starts to affect and hit us really hard when we are constantly overthinking many of the trivial things… only to realize, they hadn’t been so important in the long run.
We must NOT succumb to the fears and be afraid of the uncertainties, hardships, or failures that comes along when faced with adversities. In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. Quit holding on to this idea of how YOU expected situations to be like it. Face the reality which is going to be nothing like you hoped it to be… they’re meant to be embraced. Simply let go of the things you have no control over and just smile. Be glad you took on a journey towards self- improvement..or chasing excellence, forever inspired towards creating yourself, building skills and most of all, taking it as a learning lesson.
Sooo.. “obsessive”, maladaptive perfectionism is detrimental for us and can keep us away from enjoying and trusting the process and forgetting about the ” bigger picture” in mind.
This is my very first time writing about topics which always sparked within me tremendous joy and excitement… Kindly, do give me feedback so I can also deliver content which is closer to your hearts!
“One of the truisms of wholehearted living is, you either walk into your own story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness.”
If you’re not living your truth, you are living a lie.
I woke up early in the morning, as usual and started my day off with some exercise, followed by a list of other tasks I have to get done for the day. The familiar routinely feeling hits me halfway through my tasks… and I sigh. “Something feels off “, I find myself saying as I get up from my desk for a break. I head into my balcony for some air and automatically I’m met with the incessant humming of the bees and the birds all around. Its serenity fills me up and before I know it, I’m in a meditative trance…almost as if I was floating in the air <haha, I can’t quite explain the feeling>
Next moment I am struck with a profound, yet enlightening thought.
The truth is out there, the lies are in your mind. They are a creation of your self-deception to protect your own wounded self.
“I wondered where that came from”, I chuckled to myself. I hear me asking myself a lingering question…. Who am I becoming?? Do I even like where I am headed, or what I see right now? I knew in that very moment that I got caught in a lie…. a beautiful web weaved by my very own mind. It came to as a subtle awakening of sort as I realized, I have been stagnant for far too long. Indulging in activities, addictions which had a horrible after taste and killed my ability to create far better things.
Come to think of it, any big transformation in my life was a result of me getting tired of my own bullsh*t.
Weird how we don’t even realize the lies we’ve been telling ourselves, isn’t it? All this time, I knew deep down I wasn’t excited and ready to embrace the changes and uncertainties which were unfolding in front of me. Yet, I hoped to pull what off? A lie? That I am improving myself?
Making money, friends, going on dates, parties– whatever you achieve can be taken away from you.
Your life can take a complete 180 degree turn and you can lose all your memories and money or your friends. But, in the end the only thing, you will be left with is “you”.
You can never run away from yourself. The question should be who are you becoming?
The people you talk to, places you choose to go to, the work you do– Do you like who you are becoming?
To improve on yourself–one must work on their internal character instead of external goals.
Imagine what your best version of yourself would look like, talk like, act like with other and self.
Step into that now, do those things–embody the change & start acting from that place, your truth, today.
So, go on, Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk, dance and sing your music. Embrace your blessings and make today worth remembering!
A mask is an ancient form of an expressive facial disguise, it was used to frighten enemies and contain identity. In modern day the mask is generally known to be a symbol of the concealment of the ego behind an artificial mask.
Persona: Who Am I really?
The “I,” usually ideal aspects of ourselves, that we present to the outside world.
The word is derived from Greek, where it originally referred to a theatrical mask. In psychology, Carl Gustav Jung, a famous psychologist in Switzerland, first used this term. He explained, “Persona is a mask; external personality, which is designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other hand to conceal the true nature of the individual”. Persona plays a role as the connection between the external world and ego (true self) to adapt well in society.
“Fundamentally the persona is nothing real: it is a compromise between individual and society as to what a man should appear to be. He takes a name, earns a title, exercises a function, he is this or that. In a certain sense all this is real, yet in relation to the essential individuality of the person concerned it is only a secondary reality, a compromise formation, in making which others often have a greater share than he. “
What masks do you wear?
“Behind every mask, there is a face and behind that a story.”
Most people I know, including myself put on masks out of personal convenience or simply to better adapt in a scary environment. But looking deeply, the truth resonates–We are afraid af. What if the world find out who I am?
The main risk we face is the world’s reaction. Oh the same old, “Log kya kahenge” Momentarily, it makes you feel vulnerable but once you start looking within you’ll open up to your deepest desires and that vision will you pull you in and will align you to truest self.
Actually, opening yourself up threatens others; it invites them reevaluate their own lives. Many times, it forces them to realize that they too have the power to change, but they haven’t.
Don’t let that stop you. Don’t pull your mask partially off then let the world scare you into putting it back on. As the poet E. E. Cummings wrote, “The greatest battle we face as human beings is the battle to protect our true selves from the self the world wants us to become.”
One of our greatest fears is that if we show our true selves, the world will say, “Oh, it’s just you.” But being just you is actually the best and most perfect thing you could ever be. As Oscar Wilde said,“Be yourself; everyone else is taken.”
I remember my 13 year old self who was just getting their hands on the internet, and social media and had immediately developed an obsession for wanting to be liked, to fit in with the cool kids, to gain approval and most importantly, to minimize conflicts with the majority. So, I posed like the tumblr girls, pretended to have an all perfect life, have these possessions, clothes, shoes, etc. Gosh did I feel stressed but it wasn’t until one of my friends called me out and said, “Get real, I know this isn’t who you are.” And though, I felt exposed and it hurt me at that time, I’m glad I had that embarrassing moment after which I chose to focus on my real self. No fakeness, none of that bs. I broke free from the artificially staged world. I embraced who I was and stayed true to my core values. Surprisingly, I was able to express myself freely in the company of others and people quite liked me for my authentic self !
I am sure we’ve all been here, put on the very same mask at some point in our lives;
The Controlling Mask
A controlling person may be someone who was betrayed before. Due to the pain they suffered, a person will develop a behavior in which they ensure that others keep their promises. They also have dark side that stems from insecurity, which is why they feel it is necessary to control everything. The mask protects them from the pain of betrayal.
The Rigid Mask
A rigid person may have previously suffered a situation of great injustice. As a result, they become inflexible, always seeking justice and accuracy. A rigid person becomes a perfectionist. So much so that it becomes an obsessive attitude. By studying and scrutinizing everything, rigid people try to prevent injustice from peeking its head through the door.
The Dependent Mask
A dependent person may suffer serious pain from the feeling of abandonment. This wound keeps those wearing this mask from becoming close to anyone. They don’t take any relationship seriously and reject the idea of living with someone.
The pain of neglect is terrible. A person wearing the mask of dependence suffers from the core by not being able to trust that those who are most important never abandon them.
The Runaway Mask
The runaway rejects being in the company of others. They prefer solitude or moments of tranquility. They totally reject being the center of attention, which is in fact something that terrifies them. A runaway flees because they have been rejected and that has caused such a serious wound that they can’t help themselves from doing it.
Runaways can’t stand not knowing how to act in certain situations, dealing with embarrassment or feeling lost. Simply because this will cause others to reject them. In their solitude they are not vulnerable or insecure. The mask protects them from what hurts. Is it cowardice? No. Its just avoiding what we know we cannot control or prevent from hurting us.
The Masochist Mask
The masochistic person can be a mental or emotional masochist. This attitude comes from a feeling of humiliation and shame from the past. This causes them to always have to solve other’s problems by doing everything for them while lowering and humiliating themselves. It’s something they need.
Masochists don’t, as the other masks mentioned above, try to prevent or escape their pain. Masochists face what hurts them by finding more pain. They were hurt in the past and had no control over it. Now they have control and they decide for themselves whether or not someone will hurt them. In their heart, this helps them deal with their situation.
As we have seen, there are many different masks we can put on to try to deal with emotional wounds that we have suffered. The people who wear masks are easy to identify because at some point their hidden self emerges.
We need to understand that masks are meant to be worn temporarily. We were not born with these masks and if we put them on, we can also put them down from time to time. Doing this requires courage <I am aware> and faith in oneself which comes from knowing thyself. But it’s just soo important so that we can:-
Live into our potential
Relief from living an inauthentic life
Knowing ourselves, understanding our deeper motivations, our bright side as well as our dark side, can help us build the confidence we need to express ourselves authentically and live more meaningful lives. Isn’t it time for you to remove the masks you have been wearing for so long and connect more authentically — first with yourself, and then with others?
Two Sides of Persona
It ismerely two halves of a whole, such as light and shadow, halves which ought to serve and balance one another out. Persona can maintain public order. If there is no persona that society wants, crime and chaos will prevail. Also, we can’t get along with members such as superiors in a company and people we don’t like. As a result, we would not adapt to a company’s environment and our achievement would decrease. Then, we would have monetary loss. However, if we get too attached to it, a gap between ego and persona could be formed. We could also lose our real aspects and wander.
Using persona is inevitable in human society. Since we will always face all kinds of people whom we may not agree or even like the person. But sometimes for the sake of cooperating and not creating conflicts…we need to conceal our real aspects and show a faked face. However, all things would be done well if we knew about ourselves. If we know ourselves well, we can use an appropriate persona and maintain good relationships with people around us. Please, don’t lose or forget yourself under any circumstance.